Dienstag, 22. Mai 2012

You got me and that makes me sick

 I don't know the last time I felt like this. It's ridiculous, I don't know you much at all, I don't know what it feels like to wake up beside you and just mentoined 'he's the one I love', I don't know your favorite places, I don't know your favourite movies, but I want to. More than anything else in the world. I go to sleep thinking about you, I wake up thinking about you. I have to stop myself filling all the spaces in between with thoughts of you too, because it cripples me that you probably don't feel anything even nearly the same for me. And that hurts so badly. We had a wonderful time but now for some reason everything changed. I wish I know why. I would do anything to go back in time.

Even though this is one of the most confidence shattering experiences of my life so far, I am so glad I met you. It doesn't matter that I can't believe what you tell me, you have still made me the happiest girl, even if it was only for moment. You amaze me, truly. You are so clever, strong and insightful, regardless of how you feel about yourself. I know you're insecure, but I think you are beautiful. You are everything you should be, I wish you could believe me. I want to scream it out loudly because all I want this.

I know I am clinging. Clinging to something other people, even you, would probably perceive as nothing. I know its because I am so desperate for someone to fix me, to want to fix me. I have probably built this all up so far I can barely see what's actually happening anymore. Maybe I'm simply infatuated by the idea of you; what you could mean to me. Regardless, this is still how I feel, I am still intoxicated by you.

No one can say what will happen but I hope that even this has a happy end for you and me.
I miss your voice, your touch and your lips. I am sorry that I behave like a teen loves his or her idol but I cant stop.

Love,
Nina

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